for the past three months i've been so negative and pessimistic, i was never usually like that but given the events i think i'm going to stay this way because it's stopping me from getting hurt and i haven't been angry since Christmas, which i think is a good thing for me (:
everything happens for a reason, like it or not and as cliche as it sounds i believe that. if something isn't supposed to happen then it won't and you just need to let it go.
with this in mind, i feel so happy right now. i don't feel like a complete wanker for once, i don't feel the need to change myself for everyone else to be happy. i don't think this has ever happened, i don't feel the need to recite lyrics that explain how i feel, i don't need to let things out to someone and i don't need to just scream because i'm angry. i think only i know how different this is, it's not that i'm acting differently but the way i'm thinking and the things that i'm thinking about are making me feel like such a good person.
after this long, i'm actually really happy.